Monday, May 25, 2015
Sunday, April 26, 2015
, Hendrie Weisinger and J. P. Pawliw-Fry, Crown Business (2015)
All of us face stress and pressure daily. How do we handle these? Do we actually know the difference between the two? Authors Weisinger and Pawliw-Fry have written an outstanding book that not only describes the nature of pressure, but gives us ways to handle it so we can perform under pressure.
The book is divided into three parts. The first part offers an understanding of the nature and science of pressure. This is not only useful as background, it is helpful to delineate stress from pressure. “Pressure moments or situations might feel like stress in our bodies and in our thinking, but they are different because, in a pressure moment, your success or your survival is truly on the line. Stressful moments … do not matter nearly as much as pressure moments to your success or survival.” (p.34)
I found it very helpful to have this clarification. Also, the authors deal with choking. We often refer to an athlete or performer choking, but the authors helped me to understand when a choke is not really a choke at all. Finally, in the opening section, the authors present recent science describing what pressure does to our brains.
The second part of the book offers 22 short-terms solutions to pressure situations. Some short, some longer, these may seem obvious, mere common sense, but there will be several that are new to any ready. And they are worth the price of the book itself. From visualization to breathing, befriending the moment to reframing the opportunity, these will help you face your pressure moment whether it is at work or at home, on the field or on the stage. I took copious notes on these, and plan to use them when I face pressure (or even stress).
The final part of the book outlines a four-fold strategy to long-term coping with pressure. Under the acronym COTE of Armor, the authors encourage us to build Confidence, walk with Optimism, work with Tenacity, and approach life with Enthusiasm. This section is a little long and belabored and not as “user-friendly” as the middle section, but still has nuggets that can be applied instantly.
The book ends with a 4-step approach to maintain your COTE of armor: 1) Affirm your self, 2) Be positive every day, 3) Commit to your best, and 4) Celebrate. This may seem a little pollyanaish, but in context of the book (and especially the final section) makes sense and offers a way to summarize and apply their teachings. I intend to polish my COTE of Armor.
I recommend this book. It is well worth reading. For more information, check out the publisher’s link.
I received this book from Blogging for Books for this review.
at 10:39 AM
Sunday, March 15, 2015
meQuilibrium: 14 Days to Cooler, Calmer, and Happier, Jan Bruce, Andrew Shatte, and Adam Perlman, Harmony Books (2015)
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Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Book Review: The 5 Love Languages for Men -- how to speak clearly to your wife and strengthen your marriage
The 5 Love Languages for Men, Gary Chapman
with Randy Southern, Northfield Publishing (2015)
I remember reading Gary Chapman's original book, The 5 Love Languages, almost two decades ago. That groundbreaking book introduced me to the languages of words of affirmation, quality time, gift giving, acts of service, and physical touch. Now, 20 years later and almost that many books in this series, Chapman has a new book aimed at men in marriage relationships. And it's powerful and well worth the read. The love languages have not changed, but this book focuses on strengthening your marriage by learning your wife's primary love language.
After an introductory chapter, the first half of the book elaborates each of these five languages. Chapters 7 and 8 are a little weaker, but the book ends on a strong point with two important chapters: one on anger and the last one on apologizing. I found these especially helpful, as they highlight two of my weaknesses.
The book itself is very short, weighing in at less than 190 pages. When combined with numerous cartoons, it becomes a very quick read. The cartoons themselves are more miss than hit, and could have been omitted (it almost felt like they were added as padding).
Two particularly useful features of the book focus on practical application. The end of the book contains a love language profile for each partner, containing 30 questions to each discover your primary and secondary love languages. And chapters 2 through 6 contain a two-page phrase book for each specific love language giving tips to us hard-headed men on how to speak that love language. This becomes the phrase book to turn to.
My wife and I took the profile survey at the end. I was reaffirmed in my primary language of acts of service, but discovered that gift giving and words of affirmation are so low that they are almost foreign to me. My wife, on the other hand, speaks acts of service and words of affirmation bilingually. This means I understand and speak one of her languages, but struggle with words of affirmation. Thankfully, the phrase book in that chapter has given me some tips to try.
Chapman points out that we can all learn to speak other languages, just like we can learn a foreign language. But it will be hard work. Yet, if we want to make our marriages the best they can be, we should be willing to put in the effort. After all, we ourselves will reap the benefit with heightened communication and deeper intimacy. Who in a marriage wouldn't want that?
Disclosure (in accordance with the FTC’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising”): Many thanks to Propeller Consulting, LLC for providing a free copy of the book in exchange for this honest review and post.
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